Who's Your Hero?

As a young girl, Sir Edmund Hillary was on my A-list of super heroes. I mean, how many people do you know who've climbed Mt. Everest and traversed both the north and south poles? Extraordinary! Such accomplishments keep him cemented in our memories as one of history's eminent mountaineers and explores.

“I have been seriously afraid at times but have used my fear as a stimulating factor rather than allowing it to paralyze me. My abilities have not been outstanding, but I have had sufficient strength and determination to meet my challenges and have usually managed to succeed with them.” ~Edmund Hillary, View from the Summit: The Remarkable Memoir by the First Person to Conquer Everest

These days I look at Hillary with a new admiration. Absolutely the accomplishments of his expeditions remain impressive. What touches my spirit now is his philosophic approach to life and his belief that everyday people can do great things.  

Hillary was rather humble about his conquering the mountain. He said, "I was just an average bloke. It was the media that tried to transform me into a heroic figure. But I've learned through the years, as long as you don't believe all that rubbish about yourself, you can't come to too much harm."

He did realize the commercial value of his achievement. But, rather that promoting himself and his accomplishments, he used his fame to the advantage of those less fortunate. He devoted much of his time to the needs of the people of Khumbu by helping them to build schools, hospitals, and bridges.

Admire him for his incredible physical accomplishments. Wonder at his perseverance and ability to master the mountain and the elements. However, to me he's a hero because of what he did with the power of his influence. To be that kind of a hero, well, that's something to aspire to, don't you think?

Little Ripples, Sweeping Change

Spring is almost here. It's a time of new life and growth.It comes to mind that it's the time to plant seeds; seeds of hope, honor, and justice. Will you join me in this? Stand up for someone who has an inspiration for good. Take a moment to act on a conviction to reach out to another. Use your authority to bring about justice.

Together we can create a wave that will be force of change!

Gratitude Attitude

How grateful are your words? Do you tell others how much you appreciate their efforts, their talents, their smiles? Being grateful on the inside is good, being grateful on the outside is excellent!

Change Ain't Easy

Epiphany while vacuuming 

This morning, while vacuuming my carpets, I was thinking about two very dear friends of mine. I love them, so have them on my mind frequently. While they know about each other, the two haven't yet had the opportunity to meet. Interestingly, both are talking a lot about areas in their lives that they need to change. I agree with them and support the changes they are facing. My vacuum is rather loud, so it drowns out any other sound. It's a good time for me to do thinking. I was mulling over the conversations I've had with these two and of course was formulating solutions and some very sage advise. Then, BAM, I realized I was the one that needed the talking to and that awesome advise should be directed right back at myself!

Energy wasted

Seriously, how often do we spend time judging and fussing over the shortcomings, problems, and challenges of another? Now mind you, I wasn't being mean or judgy about my friends. I was just coming up with a solution or program that I thought would be helpful. But... What would it be like if I turned that energy right back at myself?

As much as my friends love me, I'm 98.5% certain they would kinda, sorta listen to my ideas and then continue on with their own. That's how humans are. For the most part, they are going to do what they have in their minds to do. Using my energy worrying about how to fix their problems is a serious waste of a great mind (mine, of course).

Example is better than a solution

After getting over the shock of the moment (yes, silly I know) and realizing that this was a good thing, it came to me that being an example is much more inspiring than giving someone, even a loved one, a neat and tidy solution. Really, change is not easy. Well, maybe little changes are, like getting a new shade of lipstick or trying a different style of shoes. Breaking out in small ways that are relatively safe is not all that difficult.

We all know that true and lasting change comes from thinking differently. For some, this seems easy. Yet, the core changes we make in our values and beliefs are extremely difficult. All the external pushes and pulls do not make for real change. What does is a new or altered way of thinking. And, that's where I hope to make a difference.

To help my two dear friends, I must help myself. I realize I have to first examine areas that I need fundamental change. There are a few things I need to really work on, And, I'm going to. With prayer, counsel, and determined new thinking, I will set the sail for this new course.

So, here's to spending less time trying to fix and figure for people who really haven't asked for it. I am super excited about this shift in energy. I bet they'll like it, too. They'll probably even ask me how I did it. Then....watch out!

Your words have great power.

Here's an excellent way to start the week. Remember Miguel Ruiz's points from The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom:

1. Be Impeccable With Your Word
Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

2. Don't Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering.

3. Don't Make Assumptions
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

4. Always Do Your Best
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret."

Image Source: Karen Salmonsohn

Trust...

Trust is a fragile thing, easily shattered and difficult to repair. Be careful with those who place their trust in you. It's a worthy responsibility!

Image source: http://daves-words-of-wisdom.blogspot.co.uk/

What is your influence score?

"Respect is how to treat everyone, not just those you want to impress." 

~Richard Branson

Yesterday my friend and colleague Karen Keller asked me to take a survey. She's collecting data for her study on influence. Going through the process was an interesting experience. I had to rate myself in qualities such as trustworthiness, positive attitude, listening, the ability to take risks, and such. 

For providing Karen with my information, I am promised that I will receive an in-depth report that will rate my overall potential to influence, scores for each of my influence traits, an explanation of the scores and what they mean, improvement areas, blind spots, and recommendations for increasing overall influence. Great! I'm all for learning more about myself.

Initially, I zipped through the questions, thinking it was a simple exercise  As the questions progressed, I realized I had some serious thoughts about influence and what a responsibility it is. My reflections turned to the people who have influenced me through the years. Some where considered to be powerful influencers due to their leadership skills and other successes. Others made an impression just by being kind and available. 

I then thought about those that use gossip, social pressure, position, and bravado to influence. They use these as a means to get clients, peers, employees, and business associates to conform. Hmmmm. Sometimes it really works, helping them to become financially successful or climb to a position of power. But, for how long? Often these influencers cover their motivation with smiles and compliments, promising great things.

But in the end, whether they want to believe it or not, their ethics and morals shine through to others. 

When I finished the survey, I realized that for good or not so good, what's in one's heart, one's true motivation, doesn't stay hidden. I am looking forward to my results. Well, kind of. Like most people, I want to see high scores for being amazing. Yet, the most useful thing I can take from this experience is the revelation of what needs to change. 

If you are a leader, business owner, professional, or executive and are interested in participating in Dr. Karen Keller's work, go to http://influenceindicator.com/user/register. Username: influence and Password: survey.

Here's a little bit about Dr. Keller:

Karen Keller, Ph. D. is the Influence It! Life Coach for women and creator of the website Real Power For Women Who Want It. Unlike other psychologists, Karen is also a Master Certified Coach and the only modern-day teacher of Influence as a way of inner thinking and being…then ultimately doing for having more of what you (really) want. Her first book, "Stepping Stones to Success: Experts Share Strategies For Mastering Business, Life & Relationships" with Deepak Chopra, Jack Canfield, and Denis Waitley was published in 2010.

As I said, I'm looking forward to my report. How about you? What is your influence score? 

Sow generously

Going above and beyond in service and generosity of spirit will always, always have it's rewards. The reverse is also true. Holding back, shorting another, being greedy, will come back with interest. This is one of those beautiful laws of the universe. Remember, what you sow, you will reap! 

Sow generously today! 

Image source: Jay Roeder

Make giving a way of life

"Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get - only with what you are expecting to give - which is everything" ~Katherine Hepburn 

In our everyday world most of us operate on what we can get out of life, what big score can be made, what advantageous connection will get us the furthest ahead. It's sad when our focus is turned inward, because there is such abundance outside of ourselves that is missed.

When giving and sharing and helping others is the center of our attention, the world opens up in such a way a self-absorbed person can't imagine. Relationships develop that are genuine. Opportunities appear that aren't for the selfish. And, a deep sense of belonging is attained that money will never buy.

This context of giving to others serves us well in leadership and positions of authority. Try for one day to think only of those who work with and for you. Think to yourself, what can I do for those who actually get the work done? How can I give of my knowledge, position, or means that lends a hand to someone who doesn't expect it? What small or large way can I positively impact a life?

If you try this for one whole day, I promise you will be rewarded. Maybe not immediately, but it will come back to you. It will come in such a way that you'll want to do it again! And, then yet again. Soon, it will be a new way of managing, even possibly a new way of life.

Lead by teaching

"If you believe in peace, act peacefully; if you believe in love, acting lovingly; if you believe every which way, then act every which way, that's perfectly valid - but don't go out trying to sell your beliefs to the system. You end up contradicting what you profess to believe in, and you set a bum example. If you want to change the world, change yourself." ~Tom Robbins

Lead by stepping aside

“Make your ego porous. Will is of little importance, complaining is nothing, fame is nothing. Openness, patience, receptivity, solitude is everything.” ~Rainer Maria Rilke

A healthy reminder today that sometimes we are the only thing standing in the way of getting the important jobs done. Today, set aside thoughts of "it's all about me" and replace them with how "can I build up another." This is the surest way to engage others in the business at hand.

image source: http://iloveprettypinkthings.tumblr.com/post/17418484000

5 Good Reasons to Stop Yelling

"If you're yelling you're the one who's lost control of the conversation." ~Taylor Swift

Early the other morning I was out walking my dog. As we came along side a nearby golf course, I heard cursing at a high volume. Holy Guacamole, the line-up of descriptive words a crew boss was laying on a young kid about his lack of intelligence was quite colorful. It made me anxious, to say the least.

Listening to the berating language brought back memories of yelling bosses from my past. They may have had some great qualities, but I sure can't remember them. All I remember was what a jerk they were and how bad it made me feel.

Why do bosses yell at their workers?

For some people yelling has become a habit. They simply don't realize they do it. For others, they shamefully acknowledge that they lose control and feel badly once they've cooled down. I know of a few that believe it's actually good for their people, using an athletic coach approach to managing their team.

Almost always a boss climbs up and down an employee out of frustration. There are a few out there who bully and repress employees out of a mean spirit. However, in working with hundreds of managers and supervisors, I can confidently state that it's one of these - irritation, disturbance, annoyance, vexation, exasperation, infuriation, weariness, disappointment, aggravation - all words for being frustrated.

5 good reasons to stop yelling

Popping one's top doesn't make the problem go away. In fact, it makes things worse. More than just bruising employee's feelings, yelling messes with people and their ability to work. It lessens productivity. Which means a lower bottom fiscal line for your business. When you yell it can have the following effects:

1. Employees get sick. Literally. Research conducted by Duke University demonstrates that the stress of being subjected to hostility lowers the immune system. By constantly yelling at your staff, you are creating more sick leave and lower productivity.
2. Your people get dumber, not smarter. Studies in neuroscience show that when an employee feels their job is threatened, it triggers the flight-or-fight mechanism. This impairs analytic thinking, creative insight, and problem solving. Yelling at them is a sure-fire way to put their spark out.
3. Moral nosedives. Perceived hostility affects productivity and shuts down enthusiasm. Time is wasted with negative talk at the water cooler. And, once the situation is recognized, it takes a lot of time and effort to heal those battle wounds
4. Resentment and sabotage. Yelling can be taken as a personal affront (which it usually is), and   resentment may build to destructive behaviors. People can get creative when they're angry. Anything from work stoppages to stealing to destroying equipment. All are forms of getting even.
5. It's not a good way to get promoted. We all know it's not professional  If you want to be the next candidate on the promotion list, use your powers of persuasion and empowerment to get people to do their work. Bad behavior is rarely rewarded with a promotion.

How can you break the yelling habit?

Yelling, screaming, berating - whatever you call it, is a managerial tool that just doesn't work. It will take effort and self-control to back out of the position of being frustrated. Place your focus on yourself. Analyze the reasons you're at the yelling point. In the process, ask if there are things you should have done to eliminate the problem. Check to see if you've clearly (not yelling) stated what you expect, including how and when you want things done. Ask yourself if your people have the tools, time, skills to perform to your expectations. 

Want to take it a step further?

Here's a managerial tool you might want to add to your tool belt. This is a book from my library that I highly recommend. Crucial Confrontations by Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan and Al Switzler. The authors show you how to achieve personal, team, and organizational success by healing broken promises, resolving violated expectations, and influencing good behavior. "Crucial Confrontations" teaches skills drawn from 10,000 hours of real-life observations to increase confidence in facing employee issues.

Really, there are countless reasons to stop yelling in the work place. Let's start by being patient. Patient with your people, and with yourself. At the end of the day, you and your staff will feel a whole lot better about the  work you're doing together. 

You might find a few more nuggets of gold in these posts as well: Happy Employees and  You Have the Power

You have the power to make or break someone's day

Are you a business owner, manager or a supervisor? If so, I know your days get pretty crazy with purchasing, strategic planning, taking care of customers, making payroll, hustling for contracts and a myriad of other important things that it takes to make a business run. But, do you ever stop and think of the power you wield?

Is she stupid, lazy, incompetent or disrespectful? Maybe, just maybe, it's you!

Your actions, your words, have power over those who work for and with you. It's a big responsibility knowing that people go home at night thinking about you - for good or not so good! When you stop and think about the experience others in the work place are having, do you feel good about it?

Let's take a quick inventory of your actions over the past couple of weeks. In regard to staff, how did you do with the following:

• Give clear directions 
• State your expectations
• Provide tools for successful completion of work
• Assess work performed
• Give objective feedback
• Follow through with commitments

If you did all of this well, then the impact you are having on your people should be positive. Staff should be happy and productive. The general attitude is positive, resulting in good production and little time loss. Yay!

What if you didn't do well in these areas? Well, your people are probably grumpy, nonproductive, maybe even undermining and subverting your efforts. What happens when you become frustrated with them for being stupid, lazy, incompetent, or disrespectful? You probably let them know it! And, I'm betting it isn't pretty! You may have thought this was because you hired bad staff. Probably not. It's more likely that they don't know what you want and don't know if you think they are doing a good job. 

It's time to realize your power. You have the authority and means to get your people back on track. Look at the list again. What if you could do all of this right. Yes, you're busy and all of this takes time you don't have. I say take time to make time. By putting in effort and setting good communication as a priority, you will come out way ahead in the long run. 

You have the power to make or break their day - make it good!

Do you need help saying what you need? Is it overwhelming thinking about taking the time to give good feedback? If you aren't getting your own things done, how can you consider taking the time to do any of the things you need to for staff? Well...let Shine help you. This is what we do best! Drop us a note at sahepler@gmail.com and we will give you 30 minutes to talk about how me might help you.

You have the power! Take advantage of a free 30-minute chat to see how much more power you can have!